State of Blah...

Have you ever lost touch with yourself? With your writing?  The past few weeks, I've been in what I call a state of disenchantment.  I've got some stressors in my personal life, the day job is mentally challenging, I'm doubting my abilities as an editor, and the current manuscript I'm working on has been nothing but a struggle to complete.  All this combined put me in a major state of disenchantment. Basically, the ability to care shot out the window. 

Now I realize this is not the most productive thinking.  Honestly, how can I expect to anywhere with my writing when I don't care anymore?  And who would want to read something written by someone who doesn't care? Definitely not me.  The question is, how does a person get out of this funk?  This is what worked for me.

I picked up the phone and called my BFF, who has been where I am, and flooded her ears with the woes I tend to bottle up.  I got it all out in the open and off my chest. She let me cry on her shoulder, told me she loved me, and then kicked me in the butt and told me to get back to work. Talking through my issues with her helped. I wasn't so alone anymore. 

After I got the personal stuff out of the way, I revisited the problem manuscript. Why wasn't I in love with these characters? Why weren't they behaving the way I thought they should?  First, I figured out that the model I was using for the hero was too sweet. I've used him as inspiration for several of my sweet stories, and he needed to change. So I found a model who could be a bit more edgy, more raunchy if he needed to be, and BAM! My hero clicked.  So, on to the heroine. What was her deal? I knew I wanted her to be spunky, a bit of a control freak.  Now, my friend has said when she reads my stuff she can hear my voice in the work.  My voice was nowhere near this story. So heroine, while somewhat spunky, just didn't cut it.  I searched deep within to find out how I would act in the situation she was in.  Her problem, it seemed, was she was too perfect. She didn't have a flaw. She wanted to do something and it was done. If I wanted to do the same thing, I would trip over my own feet, knock a lamp off the table... you get the picture.

My point... We all go through slumps. We all have days when writing is the most painful experience in the world. Some have difficulties getting out of the slumps and give up all together.  My advice is this:  Step away.  When your story is fighting you, step away for a few days and work on something else.  Allow the story to process in the back of your mind. When you get back to it, you will have fresh eyes and will think more clearly.

I am not alone in my struggles. And neither are you.

I believe we writers/authors (whatever title you want to give yourself) after we've become published have a responsibility.  We need to be mentors to those writers just starting their journeys. We have already gone through the process of writing, rewriting, submitting, rejections, and finally publication. We know what to expect, we experienced the gamut of emotions, we understand...

Never will I understand the attitude of you must struggle through this journey alone. Or if I see you as a threat, never would I try to dissuade you from following your dream.  I read a manuscript not long ago that I thought was really good. Yes, there needed to be tweaking, but rarely is a first draft NOT in need of tweaking. Another person read the same manuscript and their comments crushed the writer. They tore the story to shreds saying it wasn't realistic, they didn't follow the same rules the reviewer followed...just brutal.  I came to the conclusion that the reviewer felt threatened.  For every time they read a story that could possibly give them competition, they bash it.

I feel blessed to have been able to get my story out into the publishing world and have a contract.  I don't think I am the best writer in the world. I amuse myself with some of the ideas I've come up with--then again, if I don't like my stories why should I expect anyone else to?  But to tear someone down because you are afraid they will outshine you is utterly ridiculous.

If there is one thing I can do as someone who has gone through the process, I would like to be able to mentor my fellow writers.  I want them to know they are not alone, they never have to worry about asking for help. For those of us who attend local RWA meetings, never be afraid to lend a helping hand, or a reading eye, to someone who is struggling in the business. If we are not encouraging each other and supporting each other, how do we ever expect to succeed?

Father's Day.

Father's Day is a day to celebrate the fathers in our lives. For me, Father's Day is sometimes hard. My father passed away in 2003, as many of you know. The first Father's Day (2004) was horrible. I absolutely could not see a commercial or display in the stores without completely breaking down.  As the years pass it gets a little easier.  Last year I was able to walk up to the cards and pick a few out--one for my father-in-law and one for my step-father. 

I have noticed that the week/month leading up to Father's Day, my personality changes a bit. I don't want to say I become depressed--it's more like 30-day PMS. (Yeah, the hubby loves this. LOL)  Of course, I never identify the moodiness as caused by Father's Day until the day is right on me. This year, I realized I was pretty moody Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday morning, for example, I woke up tired but in a great mood. I kissed hubby goodbye and started getting ready for work. I looked forward to a day in a quiet office--all coworkers were off doing their thing in other locations--and I was happy.  Then this commercial about dads came on.  It showed a little girl lounging in a hammock with her dad and the announcer said dads were our first buddies.  That's when I lost it.  Oh yeah, freshly applied mascara streaked the cheeks, my eyes turned blood red (literally), my nose looked like a cherry, and my upper lip swelled.  I am not what anyone would call a pretty crier. 

I miss my father--some days are better than others--but I know he watches over me. 

Whether they be near or far, on earth or waiting for us in Heaven, you are in our hearts and we love you very much. Today, on this very special Father's Day, I wish all the fathers in our lives a happy Father's Day.   

Pet words and phrases...

In your writing and speech, have you ever noticed phrases or words you use all the time?  I went to a retreat in Asheville, NC, this past May with The Wild Rose Press.  (Hi ladies!)  I discovered my pet word for the weekend was fabulous, oh and fantastic!  It felt as though I was using the word(s) in every response, every sentence--sometimes multiple times in the sentence.  I caught myself at one point and had to laugh.  I mean, if I'm using it in speech, chances are my writing is riddled with words and phrases I use all the time.

In my recent manuscript my pet words/phrases were: amber eyes (my hero's eyes were mention two dozen times); she/he nodded/sighed/shrugged/blushed... not pretty!  Yes, I've got to be much more aware when I write. But, hey, that's what editing and critique partners are for.  You know, I could make my pet words/phrases into a drinking game. Every time the hero shrugs, take a drink. Say fabulous or fantastic, do a double shot. :)

What about you? What are your pet phrases and words?